Reparenting - Part 2: Boundaries & Growth

In Reparenting Part 1, we focused on acknowledgment and emotional presence. In this Reparenting Part 2, the focus shifts toward boundaries and guidance. A loving parent does not simply soothe a child’s distress or offer comfort. Parenting is also about protection, learning, boundaries, and growth. As survival strategies, children often develop maladaptive behaviors, e.g. self reliance don’t ask for help. Nearly everyone carries coping patterns that were adaptive in one context but maladaptive in another. These responses were intelligent adaptations to difficult circumstances, but they may not serve their long-term well-being. Reparenting means gently showing the child that he or she do not have to rely on these strategies anymore. I am here for you.

After offering comfort, reflection, learning, and boundary setting become possible. Every discomfort usually holds a lesson about oneself. What does it reveal about the self? What can be done to influence the situation more effectively? What triggered the reaction? What fear lay beneath it? What need was trying to be met? From this understanding comes with deliberate action to take constructive steps toward improving the situation.